Life lessons

Life lessons I learnt in the past couple of weeks

1. Karma is real.Whether you do something intentionally or not, if you make someone feel a certain way, you will be made to feel the same way eventually. Yes, how they feel is not in your control, having a clear/good intent helps you sleep better.
2. While energy and enthusiasm makes you run, directing that energy and enthusiasm to building a community even if it means going slow is much more enjoyable.
3. Offering love or help again and again to someone who doesnt want/need is a form of disrespect and annoyance.
4. People will call you names, disrespect you, pull you down even when you had their best interest. Read history, no one is an exception to this experience. Every respectable person went through this crap.Take a break if it is too much. Your break will be useful to you and others.
5. Remember the big picture, it stops you from being petty. Petty is pathetic.
6. Everyone regardless of their age throw tantrums, act petty; yet want to be admired and respected. Remember that. You are not an exception. Knowing this helps to be graceful and also makes it easier to forgive yourself. Humans are weird.
7. Remember people’s name. Eespecially the ones from whom you have absolutely nothing to gain. Be extra kind. Smile and ask how their day was and be of help in any shape or form.
8. You will hurt a ton of people. You will be hurt by a ton of people. No one intended for that to happen yet it happens. Try to remember the goodness, maintain boundaries, forgive yourself and others. Wipe your tears, chin up, smile, take therapy if needed and move on. There are better and more enjoyable things to do with life.
9. Stand up for yourself. Speak. Unfortunately, humans can’t mind read.
10. Hug, kiss, say I love you, help with chores, buy gifts, check on them, be supportive, encourage. As they say, if you can be anything be kind, be love, be light.
11. It’s okay. We all die in the end. Chill.

Wow! Maggie

Met a person named Maggie today.
God! she is so strong, hard working, positive, friendly, go getter, accomplished, positive and very understanding. I don’t even want to be friends with her (also I don’t think someone like her would want to be friends with someone like me, I am so poor and pathetic compared to her, a reminder to self that if and when I become like her I will help out or be friends with losers like me), am just happy that I get to interact with someone like her. I wish I was as brave as her in some aspects. Especially the part where she excitedly told me her love/marriage story. I wish I could express my interest to people with such light hearted abandon and continue to be brave, patient and positive despite the numerous possiblities. OMG! I was also blown away by how she was extremely understanding of the various cultural differences that she faced during the course of her relationship with her Indian boyfriend. More applause to her when she moved out of the apartment without making a big deal out of it when her partner’s conservative parents visited them. I don’t even in my wildest dreams expect anyone to do that for me. But god! how incredibly sweet would that be to be loved and understood like that especially from someone who does not have a similar cultural background. Altho I think I would have done the same to someone else. Anyways, wow! I am just so happy that I met her and know that people like her exists in this world. She sure deserves all the happiness and joy of a long and happy married life. Bless her sweet soul.

So yeah, goes without saying I wish I was as brave and understanding as her. But then I remember Ryan Holiday’s words that goes along, when you wish something from someone’s life are you willing to put in the work? And frankly, no, I dont want to become an extrovert, I love this book loving quiet aspect of me. I wish I could somehow skip that part of becoming an extrovert and just get into having a cozy snug family but then I realise u cant build your own family without becoming reasonably extroverted and social. But then again, am I not social enough? What more do I do? Dear god, help us out here. It feels like we are hopeless and lost without you.

p.s: I could perhaps ask for 1:1 with her to get some mentoring, but I am happy with Brianne and Karina 1:1 already. I always love Aarthi, Sadhana,Svetha and Lakshmi in those mentoring asepcts. On that note, thank you so much god for giving me so many strong women to look upto. I am fine, I will be doing great and I promise to pay back so much more. Love you more or atleast I try to.

The Quote from Queen’s Gambit

Men are gonna come along and wanna teach you things. Doesn’t make them any smarter. In most ways, they’re not, but it makes them feel bigger. They can show you how things are done. You just let them blow by and you go on ahead, and do just what the hell you feel like. It takes a strong woman to stay by herself, in a world where people will settle for anything, just to say they have something.

cheese cake

He was dreaming. In his dream, he was a cheesecake. He was a cheesecake who was about to deliver a presentation to a room full of hoomans in the mountains in Scotland. (why Scotland? why is he a cheesecake you ask? how will I know? It is his dream. Dreams have no rhyme or reason as we know, so just go with it) Right before he connects to the main projector, he gets a notification on his chat app. It was his girlfriend reminding him of some little insignificant thing.

He texts back, “I always remember”

She replies, “Aww, I love you”

He texts back, “But I love you more”

She replies, “Take me on a date then”

Him: “I will”

Her: “When? where, can’t wait…”

Him: “You pick”

Her: “The Gallery Café”

Him: “Where is it?”

Her: “Colombo, of course, where else.. “

Him: “That is a million miles away from where I am”

Her: “Really? Are u in Pluto?”

Him: “Haha.. very smart. Scotland at the convention, did you forget?”

No reply…

He turns off the phone, the projector is fixed, and he is ready to go and give the presentation. Smiling from the chat, he is in a good mood and aces the talk weirdly with zero care on what the audience thought yet surprisingly engaging his audience. His talk comes to a close and leaning on the huge auditorium door is his girlfriend, waving and beaming at him with pure joy.

How did she fly all the way from Colombo to Scottish mountains you ask?

How will I know? It is his dreams

Om Namah Shivaya!

“I think there was something to me, too, that felt very very truly queer and gay about that moment because I think the character of David has a kind of gay archness, right?

Which is you know, very familiar, you know?
It is kind of campy and some of that is the result of, even though the show doesnt depic homophobia, it is a life of not seeing yourself, it is a life of being told you’ll never get true love, it is a life of not being told that your love matters.

And so, watching that, that archness break could be meaningful to any viewer because it was so beautiful, but I think for people who know that, from the inside out, there was something in watching that emotional journey, that was like “oh wow!” That’s what was so moving to me.”
– Rachel Giese

On Schitt’s Creek. An amazing sitcom, please watch if you haven’t already.

Here she talks about the moment when David finally falls in a healthy love.
But then again this need not only hold true for gay, anyone to whom love was elusive could relate to this. Myself included or Michael Scott from “The Office” for instance.

Anyways, if you haven’t already may you find love soon!

Hymn for the weekend

Before we go our merry ways of weekend, let us take a moment to pause and send love to the ongoing war in various parts of the world like Israel and Ukraine.

Just like how you deserve to live a life in good health, they deserve it too.
As much as you, they deserve to live their life at ease.
They also deserve a joyful life.

So, together let’s send love ❤️

May we live our lives with ease.
May we be happy.
May we be healthy.
May we be kind.
May we love and be loved.

Hymn for the weekend 💚

It is easy to love and be loved. Especially to love someone who is in a tough spot because then there is all the more reason to love. But then why should we express and be loving only when the goings get tough when love is easy. I wish I knew this sooner. Be loving for no reason, because love is light. To love and be loved feels so much lighter that why would we be anything otherwise?

In the lines of love, came across this quote that transformed a rocky dynamic into a loving one in my life:

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

• Friedrich Nietzsche

It seems so trivial, but when I read the quote it felt so transformational, the failed marriages around me made sense. They never stopped loving each other. It really is easy to love. Especially if you are not a teen, been reading books on kindness, love etc.. even more easy to love. I mean, it is easy otherwise too. But for sustenance and continuity, especially when hurt in the name of love when in any relationship to another, to heal and grow together needs respect and friendship.

May we be happy
May we be healthy
May we live life with ease
May we love and be loved

Another Grace & Frankie quote

Look I am not a coddler, okay?
I mean, if I were, then I would, but I’m not, so I can’t.

Sleepy nights

Such a beautiful playlist. I wanted to write about the new city but then ended up writing about Cheb ❤

My life changed at Qube, primarily because of Cheb. Cheb was kind of my onboarding buddy when I joined Qube, shortly he became my tech lead and went on to become a staff at Qube. Throughout my time at Qube I worked closely with Cheb. Cheb is the kind of guy who prefers whiskey over beer. With that you might think Cheb is this cocky macho guy, but nope. But then he is not sweet either. He never says anything cheesy. Well, before you starting wondering, Cheb and I became sort of best friends over time. So, yeah Cheb never says anything cheesy so he is certainly not sweet. He is humble but not in an obvious way. You think he is a regular guy and then slowly you realise and learn things about him. You know maybe the fact that he went to ivy league etc… slowly comes up in the conversation but he still treats himself as a regular guy and then you realise. OMG! this dude is humble and then you try really hard. “Dude! you gotta brag” but then he smiles and doesn’t even try to. That is Cheb.

So, yeah, Cheb is amazing. The more you spend time with Cheb, the more you would love him. But the best quality about Cheb is, he looks at the good in everyone. Now when I look back, maybe that is why I loved my time in Qube. Because I saw Qube through his eyes. I was reporting to him, he was my buddy. Anything and everything I asked him and he always painted a positive picture. Him and Vid (the product dude) sort of were the only ppl I interacted with and they might have shielded me or maybe Qube was truly wonderful. Anyways, this post is not even about Qube. This is about what happened after Qube.

Enter Trunicorn, the new company in a new city. The city that has both angels and assholes. The supposedly first world city with people who are more depressed than a dying man from a third world nation.

Good night!

Edit: Well, we had our lows too. I have wanted to quit Qube. My rapport with Cheb broke so badly to almost irrecoverable in between. It stayed that way for a couple of months and then slowly healed.

The average guy gets a happy ending

Did you know the rhyme, “when you are happy and you know it know it, clap your hands”?
Lovely rhyme. But then we don’t always know, do we? Sometimes, we are sad for no reason. But we know we are because our heart aches. I don’t mean the figurative heart, the literal pang in the chest, that is sadness, isn’t it? I watch a sappy movie on days like that. I picked “Me before you” this time and bawled as I watched Will die.

Well well, this ain’t a sad blog post. This is an insightful post with a happy ending.

A couple of decades ago, there was a young teen. Smart, handsome and inquisitive he was. He wanted to become an astronaut. He didn’t know how. Meanwhile, a job landed on him. Remember, he didn’t find a job, the job landed on him. He explored the world, trying to get into other jobs that would take him closer to becoming an astronaut. He also modeled for fashion clothes. He had few bad relationships. Some of his friends left. You know, the typical things that happen when you break from teen into adulthood. Naturally, he didn’t excel at his job. He was never promoted, but never fired as well.

After a couple of years, when he figured some of his life, he started enjoying life. His friendships got better, he started getting better at his work. He started dating one of his good friends. Soon, he got an even better job moved to a different city, eventually married his girl friend and lived happily. Ever after, you ask me? I don’t know. The last time I checked, he was a happy grad-dad of twin boys.

All good. But he remembers this one night. The night when he left his first job. His boss offered to drive him home. Remember by the time he quit, he was a changed man. He apologised his boss for not doing his best. His boss told him that there was nothing to apologize for. He also told him that everyone goes through tricky times in course of their career and that this time, it was him.

Well, in retrospect, he was never promoted. Life was fair.

So, yeah. Story of a regular guy with a regular life. Altho, you see, Life is fair. That my little children is a happy ending. Good night munchkins :-*