Life lessons

Life lessons I learnt in the past couple of weeks

1. Karma is real.Whether you do something intentionally or not, if you make someone feel a certain way, you will be made to feel the same way eventually. Yes, how they feel is not in your control, having a clear/good intent helps you sleep better.
2. While energy and enthusiasm makes you run, directing that energy and enthusiasm to building a community even if it means going slow is much more enjoyable.
3. Offering love or help again and again to someone who doesnt want/need is a form of disrespect and annoyance.
4. People will call you names, disrespect you, pull you down even when you had their best interest. Read history, no one is an exception to this experience. Every respectable person went through this crap.Take a break if it is too much. Your break will be useful to you and others.
5. Remember the big picture, it stops you from being petty. Petty is pathetic.
6. Everyone regardless of their age throw tantrums, act petty; yet want to be admired and respected. Remember that. You are not an exception. Knowing this helps to be graceful and also makes it easier to forgive yourself. Humans are weird.
7. Remember people’s name. Eespecially the ones from whom you have absolutely nothing to gain. Be extra kind. Smile and ask how their day was and be of help in any shape or form.
8. You will hurt a ton of people. You will be hurt by a ton of people. No one intended for that to happen yet it happens. Try to remember the goodness, maintain boundaries, forgive yourself and others. Wipe your tears, chin up, smile, take therapy if needed and move on. There are better and more enjoyable things to do with life.
9. Stand up for yourself. Speak. Unfortunately, humans can’t mind read.
10. Hug, kiss, say I love you, help with chores, buy gifts, check on them, be supportive, encourage. As they say, if you can be anything be kind, be love, be light.
11. It’s okay. We all die in the end. Chill.

A million light years later

“I think you like me”
Smiles
“I know I like you”
“mmhmmm”
“I am pretty sure that you also know that I like you”
Smiles broader
“Clearly I know you like me”
“….”
“Altho what beats me is, why won’t you ask me out? Not knowing that is the only thing stopping me from asking you. … Also, you get shy and awkward when i try to even befriend you. seeing you shy and awkward makes me all shy and awkward, at least one of us should not be shy and awkward and say lets date”

At this point if this were a romantic comedy, the quiet one would have shut the talkative one off by a steamy kiss. But that ain’t happening with our hero and heroine coz this ain’t a romantic comedy this is the life of nerds, they are too awkward to hold hands let alone go for that dramatic steamy kiss. Our hero and heroine just smile awkwardly and walk away.

A million light years later they probably ended up asking each other out I guess, I can’t tell coz I am probably dead then.

Note from author: What is your favorite steamy kiss from any movie or series? Mine is Mutt and Alexis first kiss in Schitt’s creek.

cheese cake

He was dreaming. In his dream, he was a cheesecake. He was a cheesecake who was about to deliver a presentation to a room full of hoomans in the mountains in Scotland. (why Scotland? why is he a cheesecake you ask? how will I know? It is his dream. Dreams have no rhyme or reason as we know, so just go with it) Right before he connects to the main projector, he gets a notification on his chat app. It was his girlfriend reminding him of some little insignificant thing.

He texts back, “I always remember”

She replies, “Aww, I love you”

He texts back, “But I love you more”

She replies, “Take me on a date then”

Him: “I will”

Her: “When? where, can’t wait…”

Him: “You pick”

Her: “The Gallery Café”

Him: “Where is it?”

Her: “Colombo, of course, where else.. “

Him: “That is a million miles away from where I am”

Her: “Really? Are u in Pluto?”

Him: “Haha.. very smart. Scotland at the convention, did you forget?”

No reply…

He turns off the phone, the projector is fixed, and he is ready to go and give the presentation. Smiling from the chat, he is in a good mood and aces the talk weirdly with zero care on what the audience thought yet surprisingly engaging his audience. His talk comes to a close and leaning on the huge auditorium door is his girlfriend, waving and beaming at him with pure joy.

How did she fly all the way from Colombo to Scottish mountains you ask?

How will I know? It is his dreams

Om Namah Shivaya!

“I think there was something to me, too, that felt very very truly queer and gay about that moment because I think the character of David has a kind of gay archness, right?

Which is you know, very familiar, you know?
It is kind of campy and some of that is the result of, even though the show doesnt depic homophobia, it is a life of not seeing yourself, it is a life of being told you’ll never get true love, it is a life of not being told that your love matters.

And so, watching that, that archness break could be meaningful to any viewer because it was so beautiful, but I think for people who know that, from the inside out, there was something in watching that emotional journey, that was like “oh wow!” That’s what was so moving to me.”
– Rachel Giese

On Schitt’s Creek. An amazing sitcom, please watch if you haven’t already.

Here she talks about the moment when David finally falls in a healthy love.
But then again this need not only hold true for gay, anyone to whom love was elusive could relate to this. Myself included or Michael Scott from “The Office” for instance.

Anyways, if you haven’t already may you find love soon!

Capitalism, love, betrayal & revival

Recently got conned by someone I had know for more than 25 years. No major loss, betrayal on some level that made my prespective on the world slightly negative. Here’s a post fixing that.

Having worked in IT, here is my simplistic understanding of the business world. The ultra supremely rich people pool their money and call themselves “Venture capitalist”. They then invest their money in ideas/people that they think would become profitable. Because they are ultra rich, they invest in many companies. Even if one among the 100 companies that they win become profitable and eventually gets public offering they will become even richer.

Taking this principle into the world of love. Should a loving and kind person stop being kind just because one of their loved one exploited their love or betrayed them? No. The more abundant the love in you, the more okay you are to the risk and the actuality of betrayal. Just like the ultra rich, they know that 99% of the investment is not going to yield profit, yet they invest because they know all that it takes is for one company to become profitable.

Similarly, let us take the learnings of betrayal and become more wise. That doesn’t mean we become grumpy and cynical. Let us always continue to love and be loved because nothing in the world comes close to love.

அன்பே சிவம்!

அன்பு

உன் கனவுகள் மேய் பட்டாலும்
கனவாகவே கலைந்தாலும்

உன் காதல் கை சேர்த்தாலும்
பகல் கனா போல் கரைந்தாலும்

கூன் கொண்டு நரை தட்டி
படுக்கை படுக்கை என்றானாலும்
உலகம் வியக்க சான்று மனிதனாய் நீ ஆனாலும்

வலியோடு துடித்தாலும்
கழிபோடு சிரித்தாலும்

என்றும் உன்னோடு நான் இருப்பேன்
என் உயிரே
என் உலகமே
துணிந்து வாழ்க்கையை எதிர் கொள்
சரிந்து விழுந்தால் என் தோள் தாங்கும்

No, I am not sorry

I was sitting in the kitchen table watching him cook. He loves cooking. I love his cooking and maybe also him. “I am glad things worked out between us, but I was hoping that you would apologize” I say.
Genuinely perplexed, he asks, “apologize for what?”
“you know about that —-(irrelvenant to this story)”
“No, I am not sorry”
“is this how we are going to be?”
“ugh.. like what?”
“well, it starts like this, and then we drift, soon we are not having sex and before we know it, we are walking in the streets our arms around someone else and we cross each other. we wrap our arms around our partners tighter and feel glad that we didn’t end up together”
“ugh..”
“stop saying that”
“i don’t know what to say”
“okay”
.
after a moment I get up and walk to the living room to sit in the couch.
I can hear him turn off the stove and walk over.
He sits beside me
I lean over
He pulls me closer

“I don’t want this to end” I say
“it won’t” he says
“so, what happens then?”
“we make our dreams come true”
“ha..which is?” I smile
“we move to the mountains, get ourselves a home overlooking the mountains with a fireplace”
“and then?”
“and then you read, write and code”
“and then?”
“and then we jog and hike”
“and then?”
“and then we sleep, and then we sleep.”
“hmmm”
I hug him and kiss him on his neck
He kisses me back on my forehead

we both yawn
lights go off

Review: Silver linings playbook

I watched Silver linings playbook today. Second time watching this. Remember watching this ages ago and not liking it. But now it makes sense why it is acclaimed.

Recovering psychopaths falling in love in their own weird crazy ways.
Of course! everyone finds it relatable.

The scene from the movie that made me cry is when the father(Rob De Niro) talks to son Pat (played by Bradley) explaining him, how he did not know how to deal with him while he was young.

And my most favorite scene from the movie is of course, the climax when Pat confesses his love to Tiffany (played by Jennifer Lawrence).
It is the scene where he reads the letter.

Dear Tiffany,
I know you wrote the letter. The only way you can meet my crazy was doing something crazy yourself. Thank you. I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I just got stuck.
Pat

Pat : I wrote that a week ago
Tiffany : You wrote that a week ago?
Pat : Yes, I did.
Tiffany : You let me lie to you for a week?
Pat : I was trying to be romantic
Tiffany : You love me?
Pat : Yeah, I do.

(pause, looking into each other’s eyes)

Tiffany : Okay

And then movie ends with Bradley’s voice over, “The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday, that’s guaranteed. And I can’t begin to explain that. Or the craziness inside myself and everybody else, but guess what? Sunday is my favorite day again. I think of everything everyone did for me, and I feel like a very lucky guy.“

Kids these days

Somedays when my niece who is 3 years old wakes up on the wrong side of her bed she is grumpier than usual.
It was one such day and she wouldn’t leave me alone.
Alone time in the mornings is much needed for me.
To escape from her (sorry but not sorry) I told her that I was going to the aunt’s home.
Immediately she said, “Okay I will come too”
Without a beat, I said, “Well, then I am not going”
For which she replied, “Okay, I am not going as well”
This went on back and forth a couple of times.

And then she stopped the conversation, I continued walking forward in an attempt to go to the aunt’s home.
After a few steps, I looked back expecting her to be running behind me.
Because when she is grumpy she also tends to be adamant making me irritable.
But nope, not this time. She stood there looking at me.
I took a few more steps and looked back.
“You go to aunt’s home, I am not coming”.
Surprised by her reply I asked her why.
“You don’t want me to come, I am not going.”
Wow! I didn’t see this coming.
I then told her, “It doesn’t matter what I think, if you want to go to aunt’s home, you should”
Long story short, neither of us went to aunt’s home.
Soon we were playing in the front yard, hugging and running around.

It took me a couple of decades, bad relationships, and a whole lot of self-help books to develop healthy boundaries, a little bit of self-esteem, and some self-respect that my 3 yr old niece seem to effortlessly have.

“இந்த காலத்து குழந்தைகள் எல்லாம் எவ்வளவு விவரமா இருக்காங்க”. As I type this, I also realize I am getting old. DAMN god!

#KeepRockingKids #LearningFromKids

Chi La Sow

Today marks the three year anniversary of Chi La Sow, a beautiful movie.
Chi La Sow has a well written relatable story. The movie is well enacted, it is also funny, has good sound tracks, and an engaging plot. It is a mystery why a movie like that did not end up as a box office success.

Thankfully, the movie later went on to win National film award for Best Original Screenplay.

If you haven’t watched the film already you might want to watch it.
It is available for streaming in many Indian OTT platforms like airtel x stream, jio cinema etc…

mxplayer

airtelxstream

jiocinema