Entitlement

When you talk about it, of course its your ego, and any ego is leads to downfall..

“Everything is in God’s hands, and you are His tool to be used by Him as He pleases. Try to grasp the significance of ‘all is His’, and you will immediately feel free from all burdens. What will be the result of your surrender to Him? None will seem alien, all will be your very own, your Self.”
-Sri Anandamayi Ma

I have lost many people/things/status etc… in all aspects of life due to entitlemen big and small. It is quiet a shame because this has been the case for many years. Good news is, at least now I see it clearly.

I owe never to assume that I am better than someone else.

Failures from past: Despite Navanee being the CTO, having worked at Zoho, Freshwork etc… thought I was better because of my interest in astro physics at the time, not paying enough attention at Shoonya because I have read it all, judging people because of the “language” they code in when I myself hate it when other developers judge me for my editor, assuming “DevOps” are not as intelligent as developers because they don’t “code” and judging all DevOps as stupids until the time when ironically I myself ended up in DevOps, thinking my entire org runs on 4 API and to top it all…. the relationship disastersa are too embarassing to even admit it but I will. Topping the list was falling in love with emotionally unavailable men (who I think never even considered me as friends in the first place) and deluding myself into believing that at some magical moment they will love me too because I am an entitled prick who thought the world revolved around her whim and fancies. Thank God those got no where and died before beginning.

Ooo the main one is, I actually think I can write better than Gaiman. And I have never return a book so far, not sold a penny while he is a global icon. If you have read this blog I grant you permission to smack me in the head next time you see me. I deserve that, for all this delusion, ego/entitlement that I have been acting. I guess it ain’t going away sooner, character changes happen over a course of time. So yeah, your smack would be appreciated

Good news is, at least now I see it clearly. My sense of entitlement ruining my life since 1994

I will spend the rest of my life living conciously and surrendering to universe.🙇‍♀️