Step by step solution to deal with assholes

In the rare times in my life when I had to deal with assholes I used to wonder “how could they be an asshole? can they not see being decent is so much easier and joyful? how could they miss it?” I just strongly refused to see anyone as an asshole. But with time opinions change.

On assholes

“The level of evolution is not enough. It is kind of self gratifying when you are able to put somebody else down and have absolutely no repurcurssion for your action.”
– Anushka Sharma

How I deal with assholes? (These steps are tested in my own life and they work)

1. Recognise an asshole for an asshole. Don’t try to excuse them or try to build a narrative in your head to see them as human. It’s okay, world has all kinds of people that is how it works and you are bound to come across assholes.
2. Establish proper boundaries. You are an absolute idiot if you expect morality/respect from an asshole. Be strong, be hard set strict boundaries.
3. Have integrity. Know who you are. Be open to feedback. Be strong and hold your head high and keep doing the best you can at any given day.

Said all that it is true that “If you truly understand a being it is impossible to hate them”. This is true for assholes as well. If you are fortunate and privileged to have all the time in the world, then go on. Dedicate your life to bring in decency and morality. I am not that tho, assholes are a minority. While there are plenty of decent folks my 2c is, why waste your time and energy regardless of whatever level you are wasting on, a waste is a waste.

In unavoidable situation I see my interaction with assholes as the practical application of all the spiritual books that I read.

Anyways, life feels so much at ease when you finally start seeing things as is instead of deluding yourself with a false narrative. Your decisions are better, the results are more positive. Life in general is calmingly joyful when you are grounded in reality.

Good night world!

p.s: Huge shoutout to Sadhana. I would have written many articles about her in my blog one of the most incredibly strong woman whom I am fortunate to call my friend. She rightly pointed this out when I was trying so hard to have a good rapport with an asshole because I thought that is what being a “decent” human is. When I told her what was happening she very strongly and firmly said, “Surya you dont need an asshole in any aspect of life. There is absolutely no need for you to be friend with an asshole for any reason.”

Fickle Fancy

Roshan was a simple man, who taught statistics for middle school students. He felt as if his heart was going to explode. He was in love with Tina but Tina had decided to take a new job and move to a different country. He had just come out of a toxic relationship when he met Tina and felt that he should completely heal before asking Tina out, but before that could happen this had happened.

It was her last day, soon she might become a thing of memory. Roshan’s mind started playing tricks on him, he wanted to do something, at the very least go up to her and wish her good luck. But nope. Soon the day came to an end and Tina had left.

Disappointed with himself Roshan reached his home, it was filthy everywhere, he felt very tired and exhausted. He thought that perhaps it was little things like a messy room that kept him as a loser in life. He sighed and hugged his stuffed tiger and crashed on his bed, maybe it was his stuffed animals too, he thought and smiled.

He woke up the next day determined to make his life better. He tidied up his room. There was a nearly dry carrot in the fridge, munching that he went to the grocery store and brought fresh supplies. He hit the gym and took a long shower. He felt a little better that day. Every night he thought of Tina and woke up inspired to make himself better so that he would feel confident enough to ask Tina out on a date.

Before he knew a year passed by and soon there was a job opening at Tina’s place. Roshan prepared well and got the job. He now felt calmer, confident and composed.

But ironically and to his surprise when he met and befriended Tina, he did not have any feelings for her. He didn’t feel like asking Tina out. He explored the new country, made new friends, spent his free time painting and lived happily ever after.